The Fastest In All Of Existence
by MC Sannatos
Summary: One what if scenario that was never talked about at least not much was what if Burter was the fastest in the universe? Don't stop there, what if Burter was the fastest in all conceivable existences, multiverses, timelines, dimensions, and franchises. This question will be answered in this what if to the best of my ability. This all starts when Burter finds his full speed on Namek
1. Awakened Speed

Burter was called the fastest in the universe. By friends, coworkers, and employer. Obviously he would be the 18th fastest if you include (Ignoring The Z Fighters) Whis, Beerus, Majin Buu, Demon King Debura, Bojack and his gang, King Cold, Broly, Cooler, Freeza, Abo and Kado, Salza, and Captain Ginyu. (Technically Guldo because of stopping time)

But lets not talk about that, lets talk about what if. There are many what ifs, Vegetto was permanent, Goku never hit his head and was still Kakarot, Future Gohan survived, Raditz was good, Gohan never stopped training, Vegeta becoming the legendary Super Saiyan first and many others.

One what if that was never talked about at least not much was **_what if Burter was the fastest in the universe_**? Don't stop there, what if Burter was the fastest in all conceivable existences, multiverses, timelines, dimensions, and franchises. This question will be answered in this what if to the best of my ability. This will start at when Goku fought Jeice and himself.

Burter and Jeice looked ready for a fight we all knew how it would end. They rushed at Goku not expecting much but soon were outclassed, that being proven as Burter was knocked out cold. Jeice acting cowardly flew away for Ginyu's help, leaving Burter and Recoome for dead.

While in his sub conscious he felt a tingly feeling on his feet, his instincts were screaming at him to feel it. He never done so before becuase he that waz stupid but decided to do so now as he thought he might die, right he was as Vegeta was going to kill him. As Burter reached out he felt new speed rushing into him as he never felt before as if he transformed. Was it a speed force or something he didn't know but felt fast. It was a combination many things, his species was made for being overpowerdly speedy like Saiyans were overpowered in general so like their gold hair and 50x in everything per form and godly ki except Burter's species' speed increases by 1000000 per form and godly speed and one more that will remain a mystery, his own raw speed, somehow access to the Speed Force, a mutation in his genes causing more speed, Mother and Father were the fastest on his planet, Mother's training and many others. His transformation was just like the Saiyans of Universe 6, no work to get at all while others tried their whole lives just to fail.

Burter was no longer fast, for fast was him

Burter didn't have speed, for speed was he

Burter was now truly the fastest making King Cold in terms of speed King Slug.

He rose up fast shocking Goku and Vegeta. Vegeta went as fast as he can to end the Speed Demon but failed. From Burter's view the Saiyan Prince of Vegetasei was going in slow motion, he went around him. Vegeta missed with a look of surprise. "What is this?" gasped Vegeta.

Burter with a cocky smirk replyed "Isn't obvious Veggie? You can't match my speed" He walked toward his opponent each word per step "For I am The Fastest In The Universe!". Before Vegeta could even move, Burter run at him delivering hundreds of punches somehow not killing but to the point of death injuring him. Next time Vegeta noticed anything his body was lying broken, bruised and bloodyed. "H... how is this possible, me Vegeta defeated by this queer, this reject when Kakarot defeated him so easily. " The prince passed out crying. Burter then looked at Son Goku with a mixture of anger and gratitude. "While angry for you making a fool out of me, I must thank you for causing me to unlock my hidden speed. So I offer 2 options, leave Namekusei and never show your faces to me or die by my speed. "

"I can't leave I need the Dragon Balls to bring my friends back to life and to stop Freeza. " Goku said with fear and excitement. "So be it then, but don't blame me for your death. " Goku used a Kaioken x20 and went to the Speed God using his training and skills. For Burter Goku and Vegeta were the same in speed, horribly slow monkeys. To test his new speed his ran around Namek twice then jabbed at the Saiyan raised on Earth. Only to see a Saiyan corpse crash into a mountain 10 kilometers back with the horrified looks of dispair the faces on Krillan and Gohan. What they saw was Goku's normally happy face is in extreme pain with mangled internal organs mixed with rock and layers of blood. They immediately flew away screaming in fear like little girls with pissed pants to get Bulma, the Beautiful Capsule Heiress, and get the hell back to the ship to leave as fast the fucking newly dubbed "Hell Hole Namek' as soom fucking possible. Leaving the Dragon Balls and Goku's little brown bag.

Burter let them take choice A and let them go, not like they can threaten him with his speed. He began to think about his newfound speed, how fast he was and how slow everything else was. He run to where Freeza was and saw him as slightly by 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000.1 percent faster than the full blooded monkeys, not very good. He ran around him playing with the Emperor of the Universe rearranging the Dragon Balls all the the place and mooning him with the finger and his big speed stick all over his face with Freeza seeing nothing but a blue blur. "What was that? Probably just the wind so who cares. " Freeza just said. Burter thought why serve a lifeform so inferiorly slow compared to him. Goku, Ginyu, and Lord Freeza were beneath him in speed, perhaps even King Cold as well.

As he was in his thoughts Jeice and Ginyu finally arrived. "That's where that ape was dominating was, defeating Recoome and Burter with one punch. " The second in command of the Ginyu Force reported. "Jeice this is not the time for jokes as Burter is right there and as for your punishment for distracting me is you're our designated flyer for the epic party after this. " Ginyu said irritated. " B...b but Burter should be dead with Recoome. And where's that monkey in the pajamas. " Burter looked at Jeice with fury and betrayal, yelled out "No thanks to you abandoning us to die. Had it not been for my new speed I'd be with Recoome now dead. As for the Saiyans, the princess of all moneys is heavily beaten and the Earth monkey is a mountain corpse and the humans left. " As Ginyu flew to was Goku's corpse was he found that and Vegeta broken down. He was shocked and pleased to see Burter's work. "Great job Burter for your outstanding achievements in defeating the enemy and increase in power level you are now the new second in command. Now let's report to Lord Freeza " Burter picked up Recoome, "I still feel a pulse on him" and proceeded to fly with his body. "Bring him with us and get him inside a healing chamber" Ginyu replied.

As Ginyu and Jeice, with Recoome, flew, Jeice was filled with disbelief. He saw what happened the scouter showed Burter was at full power when he lost against Goku, now his power level was higher but that wasn't it. Burter had a now look he was vibrating kind of blurry with a vibrated voice, a change of eye color, more ecstatic and chaotic. However filled with rage when directed at him. Jeice knew what he did was cowardish but he didn't want to die and he was sure the Captain would save him. He thought the same with Recoome too and look what happened, almost dead. Had it not been for Burter's speed he would be dead maybe himself, possibly the Captain as well. He created this explanation as an excuse to justify what he had done, while now he was fine but deep down he knew that was bullshit. It was all he could do to stop the self hatred.

Captain Ginyu knew many things about his subordinates, Guldo while weak could stop time, Recoome while mentally retarded was a powerhouse, Burter is fast and was in a tag team with Jeice. However since Jeice leaving Burter for dead that relationship has broken as they can no longer trust each other with their lives. Therefore reducing their efficiency as members. But that's not the only thing that changed, Burter now has a higher power level than before looking like what Jeice said this Goku had. He made Burter his second in command because he did what Jeice couldn't he defeated the enemy not to mention if Jeice was in charge what would stop him from running away again if Ginyu wasn't around. Burter now looks powerful dispute the difference in power level, then again there is his most defining trait his speed. He had always been valued for his speed it was part of the gimmick for the force. He had been as prideful about his speed as Vegeta about his dead people his status as the prince of a dead race. He would have to watch out for his new second in command.

Burter ahead of the remaining members of the Ginyu Force, felt rage at his best friend, he would have died for him but apparently he didn't feel the same way. Jeice like Goku had a part in his new speed, so he guess he could forgive Jeice but he would have to earn back his friendship and trust. As for his previous thoughts, what if he stayed. Would he in charge of the Ginyu Force? (Newly dubbed Burter Force) Or go even higher as a part of King Cold's elite special forces, only the most powerful and ruthless in the whole PTO could even be considered. But wouldn't that be the same, following slow orders from slow creatures for a slow life. That wouldn't do at all Burter is the fastest in the universe he has to live fast. So he decided the next time he saw Freeza would be the last time his fast eyesight and the universe's would have to look at that Frost Demon. Yes then the rest of the universe will soon see the him, the Blue Hurricane, The Fastest In The Universe, Burter.


	2. Burter vs Lord Freeza

The Ginyu Force minus Guldo landed in front of Lord Freeza. They did the usual pose expect Guldo was absent due to being dead, Recoome on the floor unconscious, Burter doing the pose too fast, Jeice doing it sadly, and only the Captain did it normally.

"Well I didn't think Vegeta would be that hard for you Ginyus, of course Guldo dead isn't surprising, but Recoome is. Also the pose isn't as eccentric as before how sad. Anyway how did the mission go? " Freeza said in his usual tone. Ginyu, out of the group pose, went in formation as he reported "As soon as we encountered," While Ginyu and Jeice were explaining what Burter already knew he looked at them at extreme boredom and disinterest as they did so, painfully slow in his point of view.

By the time they finished Burter already put Recoome in a healing chamber, visited Goku's resting place and ran around Namekusei 100 times unnoticed because of how fast he was. The most interesting thing he found was Vegeta and that little bag gone too, as he remembered that bag had magic beans that healed the former threat to Freeza's immortality. "So he either left the planet to hide or he's still here for the Dragon Balls, " As he looked in the sky he saw Vegeta in a space pod. "Fuck immortality, fuck dragon balls, fuck Namek, fuck Freeza, fuck Kakarot, fuck my life, fuck Burter," Vegeta cursed many things as he rode off to hide somewhere and train. "Oh well that doesn't matter as I'll make a wish of my own. Those Nameks also told me 3 wishes can be granted, now what should I wish for." Burter thought. If Freeza knew the Dragon Balls had 3 wishes after immortality he would think for the other 2 for a while. For Burter it took 5 seconds with his brain thinking 1,000,000 times fast than the average warrior. His wishes were immortality, improved speed, and internal youth. Even though Death wouldn't slow Burter down it would be nice to avoid for now, if anything could slow he down aging will, and he can always get faster. As for killing Freeza it will be after Burter get his wish, the look of anger will be worth it but not as priceless as the look of shock and fear as he died by his speed and fastness.

Freeza got the password by threating to kill Dende in front of Guru, of course as the old sap fell for it he took the brat as a translator. "Grant me my wish and I'll let you live as a token of my gratitude. As a matter of fact I'll let you live in luxury for the rest of your days." The Frost Demon bargained. "I'd rather die than help you monster! " Yelled one of the last 2 Namekians alive defiantly. Freeza's mock kindness and mercy disappeared and annoyed frustration approached as he said $"Now listen here up you little slug brat, if you don't give me my wish I'll torture you for years on end. Force you to watch Namek's destruction. Kill millions in the name of Namek causing the universe to hate your people. Then torture you until the end of your worthless life. ARE. WE. CLEAR."

"Y...y y y yes sir, right away sir." Fearfully replied the scared Namekian. As Dende prepared to summon Porunga, Burter had to force himself to pay attention to the painfully slow events. Out of the balls rose a huge dragon and the sky darkened, just as that happened Burter took Dende away and left afterimages to fool the others. "Where am I. What are you going to do with me." Dende asked. "Listen hear, if you wish for my immortality and eternal youth I'll let you bring your race back to life and I'll leave Namek alone. When I become immortal I'll protect you from the others. Do we have a deal?" The speedster bargained even better than Freeza. Dende nodded, while thus was still wrong Burter was the lesser of two evils plus his race would come back. Burter grabbed Dende and ran back to The Dragon Of Dreams. _"What is your wish. I shall grant any wish as long as it is within my power."_ Porunga said loudly in Namekian. _"Oh great and powerful dragon, my first 2 wishes are to give the one called Burter Immortality and eternal youth. My third and final wish is to bring all Namekians have died in the last month back to live at Guru's house."_ As Burter glowed and the people of Namek were brought back to live Porunga replied with _"Your wish is granted. Farewell."_ And with that the magical dragon rose into the sky and scattered across it. When that happened the Blue Hurricane sped off leaving Dende with his people. Luckily no one noticed.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK. HAPPENED." Absolutely livid Freeza seethed with overflowing rage. "And why was Burter affected!" The lizard like creature look at Burter ready to kill at a moment's notice. "Maybe the kid mixed yours and Burter's names up." Jeice attempted to defend his former friend from their employer's wrath. Burter was touched that now he decided to try to save his life and knew that Jeice was trying to fix their friendship. "Jeice quit trying to save your lover, its so romantic I want to barf. Anyway I have a easy fix solution, Ginyu take Burter's body switch with mine and I'll be immortal." Shock rang across the faces of the 3 members of Freeza's elite force.

At first Ginyu was conflicted, Burter was his teammate they were supposed to watch each other's back and then there was Freeza. Remain loyal to Burter he would have to fight Freeza to the death with the force, even with Recoome it would be nothing but death or torture. Remain loyal to Freeza and he would have his powerful body and a chance to overthrow him. In the end power won out.

"I'm sorry Burter but to have Lord Freeza's power is a once in a lifetime opportunity." He then stabbed himself with his hand and shouted out his infamous words "CHANGE NOW". A purple beam shot out of Ginyu however Burter stood there as the beam went slowly. He ran around Namek thinking of what to switch with his former Captain, a frog, a rock, Freeza, that Goku guy's corpse, but he had a great idea. He stopped at Guru kidnapped him and put him directly in front of Ginyu. By the time Ginyu noticed Burter wasn't in front of him it was too late. He was on his back as he was the fatest Namekian of all time with his mouth taped shut. He was about to muffle "change now" but Burter warned him cockly "You wouldn't want to change into nonsentient tape now would you?" That just caused his old captain to scream even angrier. Burter left Captain Guru/Ginyu to die of old age sooner or later, more likely sooner if he kept pushing the old body.

He then took Guru in his new body back with the other Nameks. "What is going on? I can see now, I can move, I can breathe, and do what I longed to do. Thank you Burter, as a thank yoy for reviving the Namekian race I would like to unleash you hidden power. Just stand still." Guru said in appreciation. He put his hand on Burter's head pulled out his hidden power. Burter could feel even faster than possible than he had gotten the first time, it was incredible. "There is even more potential hidden, this is all I could pull out. I wish you luck in defeating that monster Freeza." As Burter got in a jogging pose as turned to Guru. "With this power up added to my speed and immortality this should be over in a flash." he said confident as he took off.

"Where the hell did that idiot go! He was never that fast. He always said that but even though that's false I encouraged it because it was his gimmick. Juice where are you!" ranted Freeza. Jeice was in the ship checking up Recoome. 'Well bleedn' hell he's alive, no thanks to me. But I'll make this up to you and Burter.' Jeice vowed to himself. He released Recoome from the chamber and imformed him of events from Burter's change to Ginyu's betrayal of Burter. "Good for Burter kicking those monkeys' asses. But this kind of sucks now. What do we do now? Recoome asked the now again second in command. "We help Burter kill that Freeza bastard! I failed you and Burter once I won't let that happen again I vow it!" A now motivated Jeice and Recoome went to aid their teammate against their ex-lord. As they went outside they saw Burter delivering a fist in the ex-lord's face. "Well I'll be a son of a bitch" the 2 ex-Ginyus said at the same time.

Burter is a straight male of his species but his fist against Freeza's face was equal to his first time in bed, because it was the first time doing something fucking amazing. Freeza doesn't care about genders because he fucks everyone over easily, however when Burter fucked him over it was worse than Cooler hitting him. That was acceptable since they were family and had the same blood but Burter, that completely unacceptable even in his first form.

Freeza unleashed multiple Death Beams at Burter in fury but only for him to dodge them all easily. 'Impossible, he should be full of holes. No matter I have him in the defensive as all he can do is dodge me.' Freeza smugly thought. 'He's faster than the monkeys and the captain but he's still slow for the Fastest.' Burter thought smugly but justified. This pattern of Freeza shooting and Burter dodging, rather walking around, lasted 4 hours. Until Recoome very bored complained "Come on kick his ass already." That caught the fighters' attention. "Come down here and help me kill this traitor!" Freeza yelled. Jeice looked at Freeza with a dirty look and shouted "Sorry mate the only traitors I see are you and Ginyu!" Freeza seething with rage only said "It's treason then" and rushed at them using a Death Crasher. Burter ran to his friends way before Freeza could get to them and took them to the Nameks. "Guru unlock their potentials and tell them everything. Guys don't kill them they're allies and stay here." Burter ordered then raced to the ship taking the holotv from Freeza's room hooking it up to the security cameras outside bring the TV back to the others to let them see the fight.

"And here I thought you were chicken, Mister "Fastest In The Universe". But before we continue this I must ask why the betrayal. Why steal my wish, my immortality? With your newfound speed you could climb the ranks fast, even to my father's elite squadron." Freeza pondered. To answer his question Burter ran around Namek 15 times before answering with "It's because you, Cooler, and Cold are too slow, you're all too slow for me. For I, Burter, am the Fastest In The Universe!" He then stroke his Ginyu Force pose 15 times fastly. "Also not to mention I'm an immortal and you're not." The mortal jealous of the immortal became even more jealous of the immortal and let out a noise that even by Freeza is still whining that can be heard all over Namekusei.

"So that's how Burter was able to fight Lor, I meant Freeza, I really need to get out of that habit mate, why he wants Burter dead, and how the Nameks are back to life." Jeice reasoned after he, Recoome, and the rest of the Namekians were told these events by a recently healed Guru. Guru nodded weirdly, understandable considering the lack of use for decades. "What do we do about you Grand Elder Guru? No offense but you are no longer Namekian." a random Namek asked innocently. Guru had thought long and hard about that question while he did still have his powers from before his race was different. Whatever Ginyu was it was different from a Namek, for one sexual reproduction instead of eggs, horns instead of antenna, and no longer capable of drinking just water he would need food as well. This may be different but he still had his love for his peoples and the heart of Namek. "My children, I may be different from you all but I still love you all as my children and Namek itself. Despite this change I am still Grand Elder Guru and I still will continue to help you all." All of the Namekians cheered as they still had their Grand Elder and father with them. Even Jeice and Recoome cheered with them because they felt Guru's message. Just as the cheering was stopping, the Emperor of The Universe was having a temper tantrum that they all can hear, especially the Nameks. At first they cried out in joy and laughter then the prolonged screaming begun to hurt their ears. They went back to watching the fight.

Burter used a Super Sonic Punch at Freeza that despite hus best efforts he couldn't dodge and that damaged him heavily, of course Burter was suppressing his full power. "Well Freezy Pop your power right now is nothing compared to my speed, so transformer and let's get this started." said fully confident that his speed can defeat Freeza, even in his original form."

"Well then Butter I would hate to disappoint you so here I go but just to let you know my next form has a power level of 1,000,000. So don't say I didn't warn you." Freeza said regaining his arrogance. He began to transform into his Combat Form, he grew twice his height and so did his horns and tail, and the last addition is a deeper voice. Burter was stretching during that how process and he causally said "So things are finally starting to begin." Just before he exploded. Freeza smirked with his hand out as he saw nothing left of Burter not even his ashes and he laughed at this "Hahahahaha, couldn't dodge this one huh. "So things are finally starting to begin" actually this is where it ends".


End file.
